Peenie Wallie: Airplanes, Lasers, and Terrorists....Oh My!

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January 01, 2005

Airplanes, Lasers, and Terrorists....Oh My!

I’m not convinced that potential terrorists are painting planes with lasers, primarily, because I don’t see any particular value in doing so. If a “terrorist” wanted to “terrorize”, planes seem somewhat passé. Historically, terrorists have shown a propensity to diversify in their objectives and attack softer targets.

Because people are not searched when they board trains, buses, subways, and elevators, these other targets are much softer. In the Middle East, terrorists routinely detonate bombs on buses, in malls, or in outdoor cafes. In Russia, they recently successfully detonated a bomb at the screening point outside a rock concert. So, all of these, in theory, would work to achieve the terrorists goals, if their goals are to “terrorize” and gain recognition for a particular cause.

If, on the other hand, they really feel compelled to bring down an airplane, in no way, would that goal involve lasers. It’s not like there are shoulder fired missiles and rocket propelled grenades available for sale in the United States. That’s not reality based thinking. If someone offers to sell you a shoulder fired weapon, I can guarantee you that it is a federal agent running a reverse sting.

Besides, the height and speed of the jets during approach and takeoff is well documented, and readily apparent. So, for the terrorists to go around all over the country, pointing laser lights at planes, to calibrate their speed or altitude would not make logical sense. Plus, it would obviously serve to compromise their plan.

Finally, keep in mind that every Muslim in the country has been interviewed, interrogated, exported, or deemed an “illegal combatant” and incarcerated deep in the bowels of Camp X-Ray down at Gitmo. I know because I have Muslim friends. They’re all too scared to answer the phone when it rings. So, to believe that there’s suddenly this broad conspiracy all over the country where terrorists are acting in a coordinated manner and shooting laser beams at planes that somehow the CIA, FBI, TSA, State, County, and City authorities all are blissfully unaware of, seems very remote indeed.

My theory is that it is either:

(a) reflected sunlight (remember, the sun is blinding if you look directly at it, or if it is deflected into your eyes), coupled with mass hysteria or
(b) possibly a government ruse along the lines of Operation Northwoods or MK Ultra or other government projects attacking U.S. citizens.

Nothing else makes any sense. Unfortunately, we’ve allowed the TSA to operate behind a wall of secrecy, so, in all likelihood, we’ll never know the true cause of these “incidents”. Certainly, the investigation(s) into this phenomenon by the alphabet soup agencies (FAA, NTSB, TSA) will not be open to public scrutiny.

Update: FBI admits lasers not related to terrorism.

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