Peenie Wallie

Karl Rove reportedly leaked a story to long time confidant Robert Novak claiming the administration was in possession of a crayon reproduction of the original copy of a fax indicating that Iraq's weapons of mass destruction had been spotted on the comet, after being smuggled across the Syrian border.

It is the first time the Bush regime has successfully attacked an extra-terrestrial object. Although top military brass publicly downplayed the significance of the event, many within the Pentagon expressed their disappointment as they watched from the sidelines.

In a thinly veiled threat, a Senior Warrior at the Pentagon pointed out that NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratories in Pasadena, California are only seconds away from Vandenberg Air Fore Base, as the missile flies.

Speaking from their headquarters in New York where the UN flag is illegally flown above the U.S. flag, several UN officials asked if there were any young girls on the comet.

Sheila Jackson Lee (D - TX) asked if they had planted a flag there, similar to the one planted on Mars by Neil Armstrong in 1969.

Bruce Willis was unavailable for comment.