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December 21, 2005
A Christmas Greeting
I didn't write this. Someone sent it to me in an email today. Author unknown.
I really wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my attorney yesterday, and on his advice I want to say to all of you: Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Actual results may vary. Do not try this at home. Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate. Any similarities to any persons living or deceased is purely coincidental. Happy Mardi Gras.
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Posted by Peenie Wallie on December 21, 2005 at 10:35 AM
Comments
not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere
The United States of America is the only country with the word "America" in its name, unlike the other nations of the north and south American continents. It's perfectly proper to refer to it as America.
Posted by: Robert on December 21, 2005 at 02:54 PM
Although, interestingly enough, we're not the only United States in the Western Hemisphere, or even in North America. Witness the United States of Mexico.
Posted by: Peenie Wallie on December 21, 2005 at 03:45 PM