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May 14, 2006
Floam
My sister calls and tells me that her little urchins made her some presents out of Floam, and I'm like what the h3ll is Floam?
Turns out it's basically stinky playdough that sets up like quickcrete. They run informercials for it day and night on all the children's channels. Apparently, you can make a hot-pad out of it, or you can ingest it to cure everything from acute osteoporosis to Parkinsons. Basically snake-oil for kids, circa 2006.
For some reason, the infomercial reminds me of the old Saturday Night Live commercials for Shimmer and Happy Fun Ball.
Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball.
Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
Happy Fun Ball contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete.
Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs:
* itching
* vertigo
* dizziness
* tingling in extremities
* loss of balance or coordination
* slurred speech
* temporary blindness
* profuse sweating
* or heart palpitations.If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin.
In any event, I'm sure I'll have to order some. You can buy Floam at Walmart, but my neice assures me that it's a better deal if you order it from the TV commercial.
Posted by Peenie Wallie on May 14, 2006 at 8:03 PM
Comments
God, that stuff sounds like a nightmare. Sticks to almost anything? Just what I want to give to my three-year-old. He already paints the walls and carpet with whatever he can find (last time it was a combination of glue, mouthwash, hand lotion, Desitin, and Lysol) every chance he gets. He sneaks the stuff into his room if we leave it out and waits until he has a good combination of stuff to make his concoctions. I shudder to think of what he'd do with Floam.
Posted by: Alice H on May 26, 2006 at 9:31 AM