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March 07, 2007

United Airlines - Please Wait Here

And I'm trying to fly out tonight 'cause I worked a short week last week and I'm talking to my brother on my cell on the way to the airport and I don't know it yet the Hawaiian earthquakes and ensuing power failure have re-routed hundreds of flights and backed up air traffic halfway around the planet. And, if that weren't enough, in some unnamed North American city, some idiots have punched a hole punched through the wing of my plane you could stick a loaf of bread through. But I don't know this yet and I'm on the cell phone with my brother telling him about last night.

“I went out with this chic last night...I couldn't find any hair gel, so I found this stuff in my cabinet I didn't know what it was...either shoe polish or hair gel....no clue...so I rub some in my hair and some on my shoes and we go to this club and the next thing I know, we're in some restaurant chugging Mojitos at one in the morning and I'm begging these to chics to just take me home...”

“Were these chics married?”

“I'm thinking they're possibly divorced, or on somewhere near there.”

“You're going to get shot.”


For the rest of the story, buy my book "Killing Strangers".

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Posted by Peenie Wallie on March 07, 2007 at 11:43 AM

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