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September 21, 2008
The "Big" Deer - Day 2
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I spent most of the day rereading J.D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye and dozing on the couch. But when the light started to fade, I went out and shot some deer. Bud has me slightly intrigued by the "big" deer they saw the other day. So, I got on my four wheeler and drove up to the end cul-de-sac. And, just for the record, the people that live up there are royal jack@sses. Not only are they old and mean, but they're also ugly and bitter and petty.
Some extremely ugly housewife showed up in a little Subaru. She was as ugly as any woman I've ever laid eyes on and cold and bitter. The winters had cut deep furrows in her face and she kept telling me over and over again ,"This is private property." And I'm like, "I'm well aware of that. I was photographing the deer. You've made yourself perfectly clear. I'm leaving. You could be friendly about it at least".
"I am being friendly," she protested.
"THEN LET IT GO!" I shouted at her. Like...stop being such a raving b1tch for God's sake. I'm on a five thousand dollar ATV with a five thousand dollar camera. I live five houses down. I'm not some vagrant poaching deer on your stupid property. I'm not hunting. You told me to leave and I'm leaving. Give it a rest you revolting witch.
But, in the end, I got my shots. That's what counts. And she can call the law all she wants. She doesn't know me from Adam, obviously. If she did, she wouldn't be such an evil b1tch.
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So, of course, I couldn't wait to get back and show Bud my shots.
I set up my laptop and projector on his deck so that the deer were projected onto the exterior of the house, larger than life, and I clicked through the photos.
"Let's see the dailies!" Bud barks . Cigar in one hand. Glass of something that smells like turpentine mixed with kerosene in the other.
Bud calls them the "dailies", as in the "daily" photos. I dunno where he picked up the Hollywood lingo. He's actually not that much older than me, but he used to kill people in Vietnam for a living, so I don't talk back to him. Not often, anyway.
"Is this the one?" I ask him. I'm puffing on a cigar that he gave me and drinking Robert's rum with a few drops of Diet Coke in it.
"Nah. The deer we saw was a big one." Like, these are just babies. Deer the size of chipmunks. Mutants not worthy of any further discussion.
"What about this one?"
I clicked through several photos.
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"No. No. No. These are decent bucks. But this one we saw...well he's huge."
"Like, how big would you say he is in comparison to say, an RV?"
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Note: The buck in the photograph above has antlers that are still red with blood from rubbing his velvet off against the trees. I shot it mainly for the sake of comparison, as the larger bucks must have rubbed their velvet off earlier.
Posted by Rob Kiser on September 21, 2008 at 7:53 PM
Comments
If those bucks were any bigger they'd be Elk - http://asthecogsturn.blogspot.com/2008/09/socked-in.html
Posted by: cal on September 23, 2008 at 11:30 AM