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August 20, 2009
Cash For Codgers
Democrats, realizing the success of the President's "Cash For Clunkers"
rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health
Care Plan.
President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make
this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I
have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named....
"CASH FOR CODGERS" and it works like this... Couples wishing to access
health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be
required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants
them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more
prescription dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts.
Special "Bonuses" will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted
groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their
government prescribed weight, and any member of the Republican Party.
Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried
foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, Brussel
sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies.
All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This
will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts
harvested to keep other codgers in repair.
Remember you heard it here first...
Posted by Rob Kiser on August 20, 2009 at 6:46 PM
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