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September 19, 2011
Football, Religion, and BBQ in the Lone Star State
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The most important things in Texas are Football, Religion, and BBQ, and not necessarily in that order. I walked into Mike Anderson's today for lunch and it's hard to know what to get. BBQ places are always that utilitarian large room with picnic tables, rolls of paper on the table. Zero atmosphere. No ambience. BBQ isn't about being refined and delicate. It's sort of a no-holds-barred kind of meal where, between the entree, sides, and praline desert you could easily end up swallowing enough calories to hibernate clear through to spring.
I never know what to get, but you don't want to put them off, of course. They're always sort of put off by people, in general. They're proud and haughty and condescending don't take well to people that don't know how to order. Most of the people are regulars, of course.
The guy behind me orders "the Monster - all the way". I'm not even clear what that is, but I make a mental note to order one next time I'm in.
The guy at the register remembered me. Even remembered my name. I started making small talk with him...it went something like this:
"You know...last week I went into Sonny Bryan's for lunch...and I gotta say...I like this place better."
"Wow. I'd rather not'a knowed that," he replied.
"Do what? No...you misunderstood...I'm saying I like this place better."
"Look'a here. You're not from here...kay? Shopping around at different BBQ places is like changing religions. It's just not done. And if you do do it, you shore as hell don't need ta be tellin me about it."
I'm not sure if he was joking or not, but I suspect he wasn't.
When I was working in Austin a few years back, I told Chuck Mueller that I'd gone to his dad's BBQ store and he cut me off in a hurry.
"I shore wish you hadna tole me that. That's nothing to me. That's none of my concern."
In the Lone Star State, you choose your religion, your BBQ, and your football teams very carefully. And you don't go swapping sides once you choose, apparently.
Posted by Rob Kiser on September 19, 2011 at 9:22 PM
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