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September 7, 2011
The Nimrods at the DMV
So today, I went down and waded through the nimrods at the DMV. Goal was to try to get my motorcycle endorsement re-instated on my driver's license. When they renewed it (or re-issued it) - whatever they did last month - the morons neglected to put my motorcycle endorsement on my driver's license. And they gave me h3ll for it all up and down the west coast. I was stopped three times by the police, and crossed the international border between the U.S. and Canada so many times I lost count. Not only was I issued a citation, but everyone that didn't give me a citation had to make a snide comment about the fact that my motorcycle endorsement wasn't on my driver's license and how lucky I was that they didn't tar and feather me for the oversight.
Now, first of all, let's start with the obvious.
1) I took, and passed, both a written test and a driving test to operate a motorcycle in the state of Colorado.
2) I was issued a motorcycle endorsement by the DMV in the state of Colorado.
3) This endorsement never expires.
4) Anyone that wants to try to drive a motorcycle should be allowed to. Either they'll be able to drive, or they won't. This is not an area the state needs to get involved in.
5) Anyone that ever learned anything from the state has no business being on a bike.
6) Odds are that, if anyone driving a bike crashes, they'll only hurt themselves.
7) The only reason the state wants to be involved in issuing "Motorcycle Endorsements" at all is to generate revenue.
8) The state isn't capable of teaching anyone anything, and shouldn't be in the business of licensing anything, from liquor stores to driver's licenses to hand guns.
9) The goal of the DMV (and all governmental bureaucracies in general) is a) to stay out of the newspaper, b) to spend all the revenue they get every year and c) ask for additional funds for next year.
10) The fact that you have to wait 3 hours while they issue you a new driver's license is something you'll just have to get over. So long as it doesn't make the papers, they don't give a tinker's damn how long you have to wait, and they'll tell you as much to your face if give them any indication that you're in a hurry.
11) Never mind the fact that it was their fault that they forgot to attach your motorcycle endorsement to your license when they reissued it.
12) If you bring up any of this, they'll tell you right away that it is YOUR fault that the Motorcycle endorsement wasn't carried forward to the new license. It is not their responsibility to put it on there. It is your responsibility, somehow.
13) You have to have another form of identification on you in order to get anything done to your license. Never mind the fact that the state issued you a driver's license and, presumably, would have required valid id at that point in time. You need another form of ID at this point. (Try not to scream.)
14) They will fingerprint you (again) and take a photo of you (again). Never mind that you were just in here 4 weeks ago.
15) They will not let you see the photo that they took.
16) They will send your new license in the mail, and it will be there when it gets there.
Dealing with the DMV does make me want to go in there and kill every single one of those nimrods. I'm not going to do it. But, I promise you, someone else will. It's only a matter of time. And when it happens, I'll laugh and say "I don't blame you one bit. [Fist bump]."
And for everyone that wants the Feds to take over the hospitals, I suggest you waltz into the DMV for a gander at the future of your healthcare system.
I'm reasonably sure that, when Jennifer turns 18, I'm going to renounce my citizenship and find a country with less bureaucracy.
Posted by Rob Kiser on September 7, 2011 at 8:59 PM
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